Panama: Life on Pause

In the end of August I got a terrible migraine, the worst ever. It was a whirlwind of emergency rooms, hospital wards, sleepless nights, and lots of trips to Georgetown. I spent a week at site trying to manage the migraine and ten days at a hotel in Georgetown before being medically evacuated to Panama City, Panama.
When the migraine started I knew there were no neurologists in Guyana and if I needed to see one I’d be sent out of the country but knew I wasn’t ready to go home. I was so relieved to be sent to Panama instead of Washington D.C. because traveling would be enough stress to deal with I couldn’t imagine being sent to the United States. What I wasn’t prepared for was the mixed culture shock that would hit me in Panama City. First of all, it’s huge. They speak Spanish (I don’t), drive on the right side of the road, have air conditioning everywhere, belvedere, wine, and boneless chicken. On top of the two week long migraine, I was on sensory overload!
Here in Panama I have seen two neurologists and am doing much better, the headaches come and go but are much less intense and less frequent. I’ve been medically cleared to return to service in Guyana and have another week to spend here in Panama.
Being in Panama has felt like someone hit the pause button on the reality show that is my life, I don’t feel like I’m in the Peace Corps but I don’t feel like myself at home. I miss Guyana, my friends, the health center, and being productive, but here I still miss my family and friends at home. I’ve felt like a zombie walking around the city, alone and not understanding anyone. I’m homesick but don’t know which I’m homesick for: Home or Guyana?
Since feeling better I’ve gotten to get out and see Panama, I went to the zoo with a medevac from Peru and went to a bar district with another from Nicaragua. Today I went on a tour of the Panama Canal, hiked through the rainforest, played with monkeys, kayaked, laughed, and danced in the rain.
I’m 1,200 miles closer to home than I was in Guyana but seeing the Pacific Ocean makes me feel so much closer.
Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace

My Huckleberry Friend

Since I was seventeen I have been positively obsessed with the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s, I can remember the first time I watched it, curled up on my parents couch in the middle of the night. I watched it three times in a row. Six years later, I still go back to that movie, back to Tiffany’s anytime I’m caught having the “mean reds” or just needing a break from life. There’s been times when I’ve watched the movie dozens of times a week, several times in a row for months on end, I watch it when I’m homesick or missing someone, but mostly when I’ve been thinking too much.
The last time I saw my best friend she picked me up from the airport after a tearful goodbye and greeted me with bloody Mary’s and a copy of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, she knew it was exactly what I needed. We laid there on the couch with a pitcher of bloody Mary’s and settled in for the afternoon, she fell asleep bored out of her mind after the first viewing, but suffered through like a true friend, I felt like I was seventeen again, I felt at home. The next morning we went to breakfast at Tiffany & Co. It was one of the best gifts I have ever received. She gave me a memory that will last a lifetime; I will never forget my first breakfast at Tiffany’s.


“Two drifters, off to see the world There's such a lot of world to see We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend My huckleberry friend, Moon River, and me.”
-Moon River
Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace

The Back of My Hand

Yesterday was a truly amazing day. I lead my first group exercise class here at the clinic; I had 9 ladies between the ages of 36-51, no exercise equipment, and an iPod. We had a great time, before we started they only wanted to have class once a week but this morning when I got to work they were asking if we can do it again this afternoon. I never thought my first project would be leading an aerobics class with a bunch of nurses in their uniforms singing Katy Perry while doing chair exercises.
I’ve always felt most at home on the pool deck and that’s exactly where I’ll be in two weeks we’re starting a new learn to swim program here in New Amsterdam. Two days a week another volunteer and I will teach two classes at a privately owned swimming pool. I can’t wait to start teaching lessons again and start an instructor training program, I’m beyond excited.

In the middle of a swim lessons meeting last night I got a text from one of my best friends, Mallory, telling me she is 7 ½ weeks pregnant and due the day after my birthday, January 12. She had just heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time and all I could think about is all the heartbeats I hear at work on antenatal day and how incredible it is that Mallory is hearing her baby’s heartbeat.


Mallory, I will think of you every time I hear a baby’s heartbeat. I’m so happy for you, you’re going to be an amazing mother and I can’t wait to meet your baby!
I believe that everything happens for a reason and I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, helping these ladies here at the clinic and sharing the one thing I know like the back of my hand, swimming.
Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace

Heartbeats

Every Friday at the New Amsterdam Family Health Center is Antenatal day, when pregnant moms come in for their monthly check-up. My first antenatal day I was so shocked to see how many mothers showed up, we average between 60-80, for the first hour I sat in and watched as I charted measurements and listened to the head nurse giving the exam. The second hour she taught me to palpate the belly and feel for the baby’s head and measure the fetal height. Then I was on my own, not really because the nurse was still there directing me, but for the rest of the morning I was palpating bellies and playing the heartbeat out loud for the expecting mom to hear. It was beautiful. The first time I heard it, I leaned in and listened as the nurse found the heartbeat and the mother heard it for the first time. All three of us teared up and the mother called her husband in to listen, it was amazing. So now every Friday I have the wonderful opportunity to show expecting mothers their child’s heartbeat, I love my job.


I’m definitely learning to take the bad with the good and have had several experiences that have been serious reality checks that shock me beyond belief and remind me that I’m living and working in a third world country. I’ve been called a communist spy, had a man throw a “big foot” (foot shaped cheeto) at me while I was running, and seen a man fill and drink seven bottles of trench water. These daily reminders really keep things in perspective and always seem to have the best timing, just when I’m feeling jealous of my friends at home going out for drinks, a child asks for a glass of clean water to drink.
This last weekend was amazing, I watched stupid scary movies in honor of Friday the 13th, spent Saturday in Georgetown with Beth and was on complete sensory overload! We went on the only escalator in Guyana in a strange black market shopping mall with stores like O’ Navy and Victoria Secret. I spent some quality air-conditioned time with friends from training, talked on Skype and watched Lady Gaga and American Idol videos. We came back to New Amsterdam and had our weekly movie night and made smoothies while we watched Ponyo, “HAM!”

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace

... and the world will live as one

“We’re called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding.”
Don Miller
Since I was a little girl what I’ve wanted to be when I grow up has been an ever changing adventure, when I was four it was an apple, at ten a cardiologist, but for the last seven years since I was sixteen I’ve wanted to be a Peace Corps Volunteer. Last week on Wednesday April 13, 2011 that dream officially became a reality. Swearing in was not at all what I expected it to be, it was grossly hot and awkward but on Guyana national television in front of the entire staff and support system we’ve had in country 36 new volunteers mumbled through the oath that’s been pledged for 50 years.
I’m all moved into my new apartment in New Amsterdam, and it’s starting to feel like home, like I’ll be living here for two years. I hung up pictures and cards from the best family and friends anyone could ask for. Yesterday was my first day of work at the New Amsterdam Family Health Center, and I can’t believe I’m finally here, doing what I’ve been wanting for so long.
We were told not to go into this experience with any expectations, which is impossible, but they couldn’t have given any better advice. In two months I’ve grown and changed in ways I didn’t know possible, I’ve built relationships and formed bonds with so many amazingly different people when I was so convinced that I wouldn’t have a friend on the continent. Thursday morning after swearing in we were saying our goodbyes in the hotel lobby as we moved to our permanent sites, one friend was pulling away in a taxi, the others standing with our arms around each other choking back tears, when a friend who hadn’t said goodbye came around the corner at the exact moment the girl in the taxi turned and waved out the window, he dropped his bags and ran after the taxi, they stopped and hugged goodbye. They’ve known each other for two months. I’ve said a million times that my life could/should be a reality show but that was the most made for TV moment I’ve ever witnessed.

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and peace

Stay Beautiful

In one week I will be sworn in as a Peace Corps Volunteer! Where did the time go, I can’t believe I’ve been in Guyana for 2 months. I’ll admit that there were several days that felt like time couldn’t possibly crawl any slower. So many things have changed in 2 short months I can’t even imagine how much will change in the next two years. The other day I went for a walk with a friend and we were talking about how drastically different our lives are here in Guyana and in the Peace Corps. I was telling her that last summer the A/C went out in my car and I cried on my 20 min drive to work, because I was hot and sweating. Now 8 months later I ride a 15 passenger bus with 20 other people with no A/C for 40 minutes twice a day, there are times when I curse that damned bus ride and kiss the ground when I get out but it rarely has to do with the lack of air conditioning.

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and peace

Kiss The Rain

Another crazy week in Guyana, I spent 5 days in New Amsterdam and had a blast! I love it there, the volunteers are great and my job is going to be awesome! I have a 1bedroom apartment in the city on St. Magdalen's street, it's REALLY green and needs some work on the inside, but it's going to be great. I got back to West Dem Thursday evening and Granny got a call that her daughter Venice had passed away. It's been a tough couple of days, I'm spending the weekend at my friend Ashley's host families in the village of "Farm". I'm so thankful to be staying with them and not be awkward and in the way at Granny's. We have two more weeks of training and I'm so ready for it to be done!
New Amsterdam is in Region 6, east of the Berbice river about 2 hours drive from Georgetown. It's totally different than anywhere I've ever been in my life, I like that there's more people around and I felt totally safe everywhere I went. There's a current volunteer about 4 blocks away and 3 more about 20 min away and 2 from my training group will be about 15 min drive away in the next village. I am so excited to have other Americans so close to me! I'll be working at the New Amsterdam Family Health Center, 3 streets over from my house. I'm working in Mother and Child Care, weighing babies and charting their visits, eventually I'll be doing one on one counseling with new mothers in my office for diet and exercise and nutritional information and starting other projects around town. There's a pool! I'm not sure yet what kind of condition it's in but I'm excited to find out and start organizing programs there too!


Please send any future mail to my new address:
Lauren R. Sanford
Peace Corps Guyana
2127 St. Magdalen Street
New Amsterdam, East Bank Berbice
Guyana, South America

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and peace

True or False: All's fair in love and war.

At training we talk about riding the “Peace Corps Rollercoaster” and it’s been a crazy ride this week. There’s a surprise around every corner, just when things are going great you drop and all you can do is hold on for dear life, then all of a sudden when you think it can’t possibly fall any deeper the rollercoaster swoops back up just in time.
Yesterday we found out our site placements and I was definitely prepared for the worst and knew I’d have to make the most of it; I was not prepared to be this absolutely 100% excited! I will be living and working in New Amsterdam in Region 6 Berbice!


We’re in Georgetown now at the counterpart conference; I never thought I’d be so incredibly thankful for a shower and OMG air conditioning! I’m going to New Amsterdam on Saturday and staying at my house until Thursday. I’m so excited there will be other volunteers in walking distance and my counterpart has asked me to teach her to swim, we’re off to a great start.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and peace

Bat Shit Crazy

March 12, 2011
It’s a crazy Saturday night at the Gordon house, Grace and I just finished eating dinner that I cooked, rice, fried fish, and greens. She’s making me practice like a 6 year old because Monday is “Guess who’s coming to dinner” and the Peace Corps staff is coming to make sure I’m not going to starve when I go to my site. Tomorrow I’m practicing the chow mein that I’ll cook on Monday. After dinner she promptly tuned into the “obits channel” which is playing Celine Dion with the death announcements.
Today was great! I slept in until 6:00am and met up with a group of girls to go to Georgetown to get fabric for our traditional sari’s for the swearing in ceremony. It was so much fun! We went shopping and went by the Peace Corps office and got the hell out of this village, it was great to get out and have a day off.
The bats are back, right on schedule! Yesterday there was bat shit on the bathroom sink and kitchen counter, two nights ago there was a baby tarantula on the outside of my mosquito net. I cried myself to sleep. Now the bats are back for the night, its only 6:20 and I’ve already seen 3!
Granny’s daughter has been in the hospital for 5 weeks now, she was told she had ovarian cancer and went through several rounds of chemo and didn’t have cancer. I’m not too sure what the details are about her current condition but last night Grace told me that she had to have a catheter and feeding tube put in and her organs are shutting down. It’s been tough to be here in the middle of such a major family crisis, Granny walks around praying out loud and singing gospel songs. She has spent all day every day for the last 2 ½ weeks in Georgetown at the hospital with her. Please keep Granny and Grace and the Gordon family in your thoughts and prayers.
I’m really excited about next week! Wednesday afternoon we’re going to Georgetown for our counterpart conference and Sunday we’re going to visit our site for 5 days!

Very good, I must say, I'm amazed!

I’m alive and well in Guyana! It’s been a crazy few weeks already!
We had our staging event in Philadelphia on February 13th and flew out of JFK on the night of the 14th, it was my first time in New York and I was more than a little sad to be driving past everything in a bus but excited to be going to Guyana! We had a short 5 ½ hour flight from New York City to Georgetown, Guyana. To put that in perspective, the direct flight I used to take from Dallas to Anchorage is 6 hours!
We were greeted by the welcome committee of Peace Corps Staff and current PCV’s with coconuts and bananas! Orientation took place in the Regency hotel in Georgetown, I got sick, not sure what it was, and had to stay a few extra days in Georgetown for observation and medical treatment and arrived at my host families in Vergenoegen, West Demerera on Sunday February 20th.
My host family is Granny (Cotill) and Aunt Grace, 2 older ladies; they’re sisters and remind me so much of June and Barbara! Lots of silk flowers and doilies on every surface of the house! The house itself is pretty much what I expected; we don’t have running water all the time, no shower so I have to take a “bucket bath” with a 5 gallon bucket in a shower stall. I’m getting pretty good at it and can bathe with ½ a bucket of water now! In the mornings there’s all kinds of frogs in the shower with me, I’ve named them, Loretta, Patsy, and Dolly.
We have chickens and a garden in the “back dam”; I’m still not clear as to whether or not the chicken I’ve been eating is one of the chickens I hear in the back yard… gross. The food is… different. TONS of salt and MSG that they call Agie, which I’ve explained to Granny, is horrible for me and gives me terrible headaches and will make me sick. But she still sneaks it into the food when she thinks I’m not looking. Anti-Malaria meds give me crazy nightmares but I’ll take nightmares over malaria any night! The house is not sealed, has no ceiling, and is very much open to the elements. We have about a dozen bats in the house at night, flying around the rafters and running into my mosquito net! Recently, in the last 36 hours I’ve seen 7 HUGE spiders, I took a picture of one that is the size of my hand and its eyes reflected the flash! Granny and Grace laughed at me and called it a “Nancy” whatever that means. There’s tons of other animals, chickens, cows, goats, horses, dogs, all wandering around the neighborhoods and along the main roads.
We had a wedding reception here at the house last Saturday. Granny’s Grandson Mark got married and we had about 150 people here! They rented red lawn chairs and put a big blue tarp over the front yard, and had speakers the size of a Honda and a DJ, it was awkward for people to walk up to me and ask who I am and explain to them that I live here lol.
Training is going well, a little slow sometimes and we do a lot of waiting on people, but the things we are actually learning is going great. Lots of review in the health sessions and we started volunteering at our village Health Centers, so 2 days a week I go to the Vergenoegen Health Center for 3-4 hours and get to weigh people and babies, take blood pressure, help with their charts and we give health talks on whatever clinic is going on that day like diabetes or hypertension or ante natal/family planning. We’re finishing our 3rd week of training, the end of week 5 we will go to a counterpart conference and meet our counterparts for our final work site and then travel with them back to the site to stay for a week! Our swearing in ceremony is scheduled for April 13th and we will be sworn in as Peace Corps Volunteers!
Overall I’m doing well, I get a little homesick every once in a while. Not as much at night like I expected, mostly because I’m freaking out about bats and spiders, but mornings are hard when I wake up and realize everything is changing more and more every day. I really miss talking to my friends all day every day about every little detail of our lives. It has been hard to go from such constant communication to limited access. I miss American food and I miss driving Paul! The mini busses are pretty scary, I have a 35 minute bus ride from Granny’s to training every day, one day I counted 22 people in a John and Kate +8 style “mini bus”!!! There’s not a whole lot to do around here after training, Granny and I cook dinner and she watches the “obit channel” which is a channel on basic cable dedicated to showing the death announcements/obituaries of who died and lists every person they ever came in contact with! The first couple days I sat and watched it with her but its too depressing. I’ve been writing a lot of letters and I hope you have too?!?! Other trainees have been getting mail this week but I haven’t gotten anything, I hope I get something soon.
Grace just got home from work and brought me some sort of cassava cake, I can’t pronounce the name, much less spell it, but it’s good. Next time you start your car, turn on the TV, or eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I hope you think of me riding the mini bus, watching the obits, and eating curry rice.

Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace

The only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's

It's finally here, I leave for staging in Philadelphia on February 12, 2011 and fly out of New York for Georgetown, Guyana on February 15! I will be training in Georgetown for 2-3 months before I begin my 2 years of service in a rural community working as a Community Health Education Promoter. Everything is happening so fast, I waited forever for this moment, 6 years to be exact and now that it's here I'm such a mess of emotions.

Since I've been home in Valdez I've learned a lot more than I ever thought I would. I worked for the Parks & Rec Maintenance where I drove a fork lift and used power tools, I was the assistant high school swim coach and drove a van of 15 kids for 15 hours every weekend, I absolutely love coaching. I ran the Learn-to-Swim program for the Torpedoes Swim Club and right now I'm teaching lessons for Parks & Rec. All of these things, except maintenance, are things that I would love to do forever but right in the middle of all of it I got an invitation from the Peace Corps and accepted it without hesitation!

The timing couldn't have been any more perfect, I got to spend Thanksgiving at home for the first time since High School and Carla came to Alaska for the first time. Christmas at home was perfect. I took a whirlwind vacation to Texas and Kansas City for Mallory's bachelorette party, Mallory and Austin's wedding, and my 23rd birthday. I spent 3 days in Kansas City with Alli and went to Shrek the musical and had breakfast at Tiffany's. I had the time of my life with my best friends and made great memories of 14 Hands, being Malfie's maid of honor, martinis at the bee hive, and toasting drinks to the Peace Corps. 15 days later I was back to reality and started packing for Guyana.



Now with less than 3 weeks before the biggest adventure of my life I'm starting to panic and worry about stupid little things. Sometimes I lose focus and think about all the things that I'll miss out on here at home and it's hard to talk about these things, because I know my family and friends are scared too and having just as hard of a time. I can't tell them enough how much I appreciate their love and support, they mean the world to me. In the next 19 days I will teach 16 swim classes, finish the second leg of my farewell tour in Oregon and pack my life into 2 bags!


Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace