Panama: Life on Pause

In the end of August I got a terrible migraine, the worst ever. It was a whirlwind of emergency rooms, hospital wards, sleepless nights, and lots of trips to Georgetown. I spent a week at site trying to manage the migraine and ten days at a hotel in Georgetown before being medically evacuated to Panama City, Panama.
When the migraine started I knew there were no neurologists in Guyana and if I needed to see one I’d be sent out of the country but knew I wasn’t ready to go home. I was so relieved to be sent to Panama instead of Washington D.C. because traveling would be enough stress to deal with I couldn’t imagine being sent to the United States. What I wasn’t prepared for was the mixed culture shock that would hit me in Panama City. First of all, it’s huge. They speak Spanish (I don’t), drive on the right side of the road, have air conditioning everywhere, belvedere, wine, and boneless chicken. On top of the two week long migraine, I was on sensory overload!
Here in Panama I have seen two neurologists and am doing much better, the headaches come and go but are much less intense and less frequent. I’ve been medically cleared to return to service in Guyana and have another week to spend here in Panama.
Being in Panama has felt like someone hit the pause button on the reality show that is my life, I don’t feel like I’m in the Peace Corps but I don’t feel like myself at home. I miss Guyana, my friends, the health center, and being productive, but here I still miss my family and friends at home. I’ve felt like a zombie walking around the city, alone and not understanding anyone. I’m homesick but don’t know which I’m homesick for: Home or Guyana?
Since feeling better I’ve gotten to get out and see Panama, I went to the zoo with a medevac from Peru and went to a bar district with another from Nicaragua. Today I went on a tour of the Panama Canal, hiked through the rainforest, played with monkeys, kayaked, laughed, and danced in the rain.
I’m 1,200 miles closer to home than I was in Guyana but seeing the Pacific Ocean makes me feel so much closer.
Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace