I'm still sitting, and waiting, and wishing, I've just done it driving across the country with my best friend and sitting on my sisters couch. Through all of this time I've had to think I've never been so unsure of myself or the decisions I'm making. I have absolutely no idea if what I'm doing is the right thing to do for me or anyone else in my life. I told a friend the other day that everyone always talks about moving on and starting a new chapter of their life, but I feel like I'm writing a whole new book. Now, I'm in the middle of what is sure to be the longest transition of my life, I'm moving home. I have no plan, no job, no friends, just my Mom. For now I'm at the mercy of the Peace Corps Placement & Assessment Office to find a new program for me. I have no idea when or where I'll be going and no plans between now and whenever that may be. Everyone who knows me is well aware that my tear ducts are fully functioning, but lately I feel like all I do is cry. I always wanted to be so free spirited and care free, but now that I'm officially a gypsy and living out of my car, there's nothing I wouldn't give to just be home. It's like going on vacation and getting sick and wanting nothing more than to lay in your own bed and waller, except I sold my bed in Abilene and have never slept in the bed in my old room at my parents' house. A friend once asked me to pray for her, and knowing that I am not in the slightest bit religious, said she didn't care if it was to God or the wall by my bed. Well, I'm asking now for thoughts and prayers whether they're to a God or to a wall.
Cross my heart and kiss my elbow,
Love and Peace
